An Introduction to the Artist...

otherwise known as, myself

I’ve tried to write an introduction over and over again, but I figured why do the boring buttoned up beginning and just boil it down, get into it. I want to push myself to share more of my writing, as well as work on writing longer pieces. So this space I’m hoping will be to share poetry in the works (more on that below) as well as a sort of journal, diary entries, maybe eventually dip into fiction. 

I self published a book of poetry in the late spring of 2022, titled Baby Monster. I started originally formatting and putting the pieces together for a short book in the summer of 2020 when everything was crumbling around me and all the usual distractions of the world weren’t working to hide from the ramifications of abuse I had continuously sustained from fall 2015 on. I had so much work and so desperately wanted to make something of it, scream from the rooftops as a victim that had survived and was on the other side, but mentally still in the prison of knowing, remembering. Once the walls come down you still have to clean up the rubble, breathe in the dust, try not to trip and scrape your knees again and again. So working on Baby Monster was cathartic, seeing what it was like in that war zone, being back in that haunted house, having those writings on the wall. It was a piece on being at war, then finally getting to come home. 

All of this to say, I’ve been working on a new book of poetry. At first I was focused on themes of life after abuse, sort of a dreamy afterwards juxtaposed with the horrors that still follow. But now after some time and heavy influence of introspection, my newest writings all seem to focus around masochism and being a person plagued by this need in many aspects on my life. As well as the way the world favors a perfect submissive woman, and the inherent mass pain that lies there. 

So fragile are bodies, so concave
Work in self-destructive ways

I want to share some excerpts of what I’ve been working on, seeing as how it will most likely be quite awhile until a book is fully formed. Here is a first draft, and if you’re interested and still reading, thank you, and I love you. Despite the insurmountable pain that resides, my heart does occasionally feel full of something other, and when I can express and share that with someone, anyone, it grows. So thank you. 

<3